January 7, 2013
Las Vegas, Nevada
At 12:08 am we are officially one week into 2013. Still no flying cars, no vacations on Mars and the world isn’t ruled by damned, dirty apes. Or is it?
2012 was such an amazing year. There were ups, there were downs. It is certainly one that I will remember for a long time to come.
I spent 9 months of it on the road with Slash, Myles and my co-Conspirators supporting our first release as a collective, Apocalyptic Love. That album went on to sell very successfully and end up on a lot of ‘best of the year’ lists. I couldn’t be more proud. The gold albums adorn my walls as I write this. I’m not big on trophies but when you’ve been doing this as long as I have you need to celebrate all you’ve won and remember all you’ve lost.
We went around the world a few more times. Places like Melbourne, Australia and Berlin, Germany and Paris, France and London, England are all familiar territory now. I know where things are there and I know where I’m going when I’m in these places. Pretty much. I mean I know where the coffee shops/comic shops/record shops are.
I had not been off of North America until 2007 and now I have friends all over the world from Australia to South America. Life is amazing. Don’t let anyone tell you different.
With any triumph there is also tragedy. I lost my close friend, Greg Verdusco, to cancer before year’s end and that has had the most sobering yet inspiring affect on me. Like most of us that knew Greg well, none of us are taking this life for granted anymore. There is so much to live for and so much I still have to do. I know Greg would be telling me now to live every moment to it’s fullest. Smile and laugh and be with the people who make you happy as much as possible. Stop sweating small things. It’s always funny how a personal problem that seemed like the end of the world in the moment is eventually barely remembered at all.
Greg taught me so much while he was with us but he continues to teach and inspire now after he’s gone. Not a day has passed that I haven’t picked up my phone to text or call him only to stare at my phone flatly in cold reality. But I have chosen to now look at the time we did have together as an immense gift. I don’t think Greg would want any of us to have been affected negatively by his presence in or absence from our lives. It is too easy to live in the dark. I choose to live in the light and there is great light where Greg is in my life still.
For him I have already begun the process of putting together an EP of his band the Bloody Villains to release hopefully in the spring. We haven’t fully formulated the plan but it will see the light of day in 2013. This I swear.
In the great irony that is life only a couple of months before Greg’s passing I was given the great gift of a nephew. My first one. Finally a boy to carry on the Kerns name. Ronin Kerns enters the world as a good friend leaves it shortly after. Life is such a crazy rollercoaster that you really have to be a thrillseeker to survive it. There’s no filthy carny to let me off this rollercoaster. It just spins and spins til it spins no more. Me, I’m ok with that. I say, ‘let it spin!’ Better to spin than sit. Life is too fast and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Such is the beauty of life. We welcome new players into our ever growing cast and we bid adieu to those who’s part has been fulfilled. Life is a river and it never stops moving. Just because you stop paddling doesn’t mean you have stopped moving. The river takes you where it will. We have very little control of where it’s going to take us. Sometimes it is a rolling rapids. Sometimes it is serene and calm. Either way we ride it until we meet our river’s end. I’m riding my river all the way.
My river at the moment is a project dubbed Hello Cruel World which has been floating around my brain for years but suddenly jostled loose by my friend getting sick. It was then that I told myself that there are too many reasons to NOT do something. We say to ourselves, ‘someday I’m gonna do this’ or ‘I always wanted to do that’. Why can’t today be that day? Because, without being too esoteric, none of us really knows what tomorrow holds. Is tomorrow my last day? Next month? Next year? Would I live any differently if I knew how much time I had left? I think we all would but the beauty is not knowing and we have no one to blame but ourselves for the things we ‘meant’ to do while we had the chance.
Trust me, I need to kick myself in the ass as much as the next person. I have songs I’m recording that I haven’t completed lyrics for. I tell myself to sit down and do the work but I’ll be damned if that ‘not that there’s anything wrong with that’ Seinfeld rerun is on. I mean, I gotta watch that! Sure I’ve seen Kill Bill a thousand times but I think a movie or a tv show is like a song. You didn’t listen to Jumping Jack Flash once in your life and say, ‘I really enjoyed that’ and never listened to it again. If you’re like me you listened to Jumping Jack Flash over and over and over again and when it comes on the radio now you crank the shit out of it! Well, that’s Star Wars and Dark Knight Rises and the Walking Dead for me too. I get a lot out of entertainment. Sue me! Life is short. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with finding great value in an amazing cup of coffee. I think sitting at your favorite coffee shop (currently Holley’s Cuppa on Blue Diamond-amazing!) and enjoying a slice of caffeinated heaven is living just as much as mountain climbing in my book. Not to knock mountain climbing. My adventures are a little cozier.
My point is that life is full of distractions. Delicious, amazing distractions. I think they have to be indulged as well. I think that’s the best part of ‘living’. Enjoying all what there is to offer.
I have made the excuse that even if I’m going through periods of not being productive creatively that I am still being creative by living. It’s an ‘excuse’ I believe very deeply in. How can one write about heartbreak if one has never had their heart broken. How can one convincingly write about loss or joy if one has not experienced it’s dizzying heights and agonizing lows. Life is to be lived. That is your research. Now sit down and make it true. Take the listener/reader/viewer on a ride.
As writers sometimes we’re successful sometimes we miss the mark. There is not one great creative individual that hasn’t had a misstep but I think ‘failure’, for lack of a better word, is far more important than success because it shapes who you are. It gives you character. I have so many scars and bumps and bruises from this life but I wear them proudly. I have lived. You’re not supposed to ease into death like a warm bath. You are supposed to crawl there with not an ounce of gas in the tank left. Your vessel was well used. You got every drop of life out of it.
I don’t mean to ramble like a new age Tony Robbins. I am just inspired and have once again taken heartbreaking loss and tried to find inspiration in it. I believe I have been successful this time. I only hope some of the things I say might make somebody get up and do something they’ve always wanted to do.
Like an acoustic record. People say, ‘why an acoustic record?’ I say, ‘cuz I always wanted to do one and I like the challenge of it’. As I mentioned there are always reasons to not do something. Will people like it? Will people care? Will anyone buy it? Will critics rape it? None of those things really matter to me. Yes, I would love for everyone to enjoy what I do but I learned a long time ago that you can’t please everyone. I like to think of it like this. If I were a chef and I had a dream to open a restaurant would I be discouraged by the fact that McDonalds sells a gazillion hamburgers a day? How can I possibly compete with that? No. If that were the case there would be nothing but McDonalds but it wouldn’t be called McDonalds. It would be called The Restaurant because it would be the only restaurant in the world. No one would open any other restaurant because how could an independent David battle such a giant corporate Goliath? I’m not talking about Wendy’s or Burger King either. I’m talking about that amazing Italian restaurant you love so much or that greek place that always has a line out the door.
Those kinds of things have never scared me. So I don’t have Nickelback’s sales. So what? I still got something to say and I like saying it. If I’m lucky enough that a few people like listening to what I have to say then awesome!
Don’t be afraid of John Grisham if you wanna write, don’t be afraid of Michael Bay if you wanna be in film. Do it cuz you love it. We need the Wes Andersons and the Chuck Klostermans as much as those guys.
We are in pretty good shape with my acoustic record. What started off as a little seed of an idea is growing way beyond my skills as a gardner. We are at 140% of our goal before the first month of our 3 month campaign is through. This has blown my mind. I cannot thank everyone who has supported this project enough. I am simply speechless.
For the acoustic record I have taught myself how to play ukulele and am going to teach myself some banjo. I don’t know if I’ll use either of these instruments on the record but once in a while I’ll think, ‘a banjo would be cool here’ and since I don’t know anyone who plays banjo I take it upon myself to be jack of that trade as well. King of very few but jack of a lot.
Your support is beyond appreciated. At this point my goal is 200% I guess. I never considered it before but now that we are beyond our goal we may as well take it as far as we can. We have some cool new exclusives up there and will be adding some things from the Apocalyptic Love tour.
If you feel like sharing in a Canadian boy’s dream click here and join me on my wild ride!
http://www.pledgemusic.com/projects/toddkerns
Big love to you. The biggest.
I did the holidays with my family in grey and rainy, Vancouver, Canada, one of my favorite places in the world. While there the Age Of Electric had breakfast together. We broke up officially 15 years ago this year. How bizarre is that? The band was formed officially 24 years ago. Now that is totally messed up! Well, the truly bizarre thing is that during the holidays we recorded 3 brand new Age Of Electric songs. I have no idea what that means nor do I have any idea what will come of them but it has certainly been an exciting journey. Anyone who follows me knows that my schedule is such that taking on any other project, especially something as daunting as a reunion, seems crazy but as you’ve seen above-crazy doesn’t scare me in the least. I’m not saying or promising anything but I will say this and only this- ‘Ya never know…’
New Year’s Eve with the Sinners was a blast. My new home of Vegas has been so good to me. I am with the Sinners through January so if you are in Vegas come say hi! We have a bunch of exciting stuff happening.
2012 saw so much political polarization in the US. I really have no opinion as a guest in this country but I will say that I am excited to see the world changing before our eyes. Our grandchildren will live in a world where the color of your skin or who you fall in love with will not be something to be judged by. A man marrying a man or a woman marrying a woman will be as commonplace as heterosexual divorce someday.
Weed will not be seen as the demon it’s been portrayed as. Speaking as a sober person I would much rather deal with a pothead than a drunk. A pothead doesn’t wanna fight me over religion or politics. A pothead usually just wants to play Halo. I’m so sober these days I bore myself. No substances. No Halo either for that matter.
People like to talk about the world so negatively. Not me. I’m super hopeful for humans. I like the Gene Roddenberry idea that someday everyone’s gonna get along and be accepting of our differences. Hopefully they’ll have a handle on all the horrible afflictions like cancer as they do on Star Trek. This is a future I look to for my grandchildren’s grandchildren. Maybe they’ll finally have the flying cars and vacations on Mars. It might take interstellar domination by the Klingons to bring us together mind you. Let’s hope we get there before we are taken over by those damned dirty apes.
How badass was Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, huh? Damn. They finally got it right. I’m stoked for the sequel.
Sorry. Tangent.
I bought myself Dark Knight Rises for Xmas and I have to say it is genius. Christopher Nolan did such an amazing job with all three of his films. I love that Bane hasn’t an ounce of humor to his character. We all loved watching Heath do the Joker. He was amazing. Bane is not fun at all. He is terrifying. His voice is amongst some of the film history’s best ever if you ask me.
If you wanna make a good film you load it with the best actors in the world. Gary Oldman, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson (in the first film-brilliant), Heath Ledger, Tom McKay, Christian Bale. Outstanding talent. I honestly believe that Michael Caine’s performance in Rises is one of the best of his career and that’s saying a lot cuz I love Michael Caine.
How amazing was he as Nigel Powers, huh? Austin Powers’ father? Come on. That was hysterical. Caine is the man.
Sorry. Tangent.
I am excited for Man Of Steel. I’m skeptical, yes, but the trailer is breathtaking. I’m a sucker for the big boy scout! Can’t wait. Nolan and Zack Snyder. Promising!
Star Trek-Into Darkness. Come on. I spoke to JJ Abrams at Conan for all of 30 seconds and told him he ruled. The new movie is gonna kill.
I’m reading Peter Criss’ book. I am enjoying. I have Pete Townshend and Rod Stewart’s books on the rock bio, xmas gift pile next up! I love rock and roll…put another dime in the jukebox, baby.
I have exhausted your attention enough. Please visit http://www.pledgemusic.com/projects/toddkerns
If you’re in Vegas come say HI!
As for the rest of the world-we will see you in February-Dubai, Moscow, St Petersburg and more and more and more. Can’t wait!!! I’m itching for it!
I hope 2013 is your best year yet! I’m going to do everything in my power to make it mine!
Big love. The biggest
Your loyal and humble servant
Todd Dammit
January 7th, 2013 at 9:49 am
Hey Dammit im for México i don´t speak in inglish así que lo pondre en español, me encanto verte en mi país en noviembre fue una de mis mas grandes experiencias me encantarís que regresaras, juro que ire a verte. Ánimo no porque todos caigan tu debes caer. Ame Hello Cruel World.
January 7th, 2013 at 10:30 am
It’s always fun to read your blogg. It’s like to talk with a friend, and I know that’s your real intention, I heard it on the radio a couple of weeks ago
Please don’t stop being like that!
Have a wonderful 2013!!!!
Greetings from Chile***
Katt
January 7th, 2013 at 10:33 am
I can’t wait to see you in BUDAPEST in February, Todd!!!
Wishing you an amazing and very happy 2013!
Lots of love,
Judili
January 7th, 2013 at 10:35 am
You are so amazing! The inspiration you have found in loss will dumbfound anyone who listens. Having been too close to death a few times, I understand the power in living life. I love to share it with others, as you are doing so well. Life is all about the roller coaster of emotions. Let’s take the highs to the stars… And find a way to hold on thru the lows. You are a beautiful soul.
January 7th, 2013 at 11:18 am
I love that you have such a positive outlook on life! It is far too easy to get sucked into all the negativity out there. I agree 100% with you about living life to the fullest; for far too long I stressed over little things – but no more! I am going to find the time to start writing again and just enjoy life, my kids deserve that from me. Not a New Years resolution, because I don’t believe in those. Call it a life lesson realization. Thank you for sharing your inspiration.
January 7th, 2013 at 11:47 am
Thank you so much for sharing with us, we love you man!
I’m really enjoing the updates and blog, keep em comin’
I’ve had a “regular” 2012, ups and downs, but mainly felt miserable most of it. I understand it’s mainly my fault, and I’m also able to change that; and your words are a pushing me forward. I’ll never be able to thank you enough.
Now get back to the studio! good to know our pledges are at work
January 7th, 2013 at 11:47 am
I’m thrilled see your show guys in 5 February. I truly hope I get the chance meet you in Bucharest. It would be awesome for me.
January 7th, 2013 at 12:01 pm
Hy Todd!
Did you read my e-mails?
I think you did!
I confess that I was a little concerned with that post you published before your birthday but now… with this actual, those dark shadows gone by.
Accept my big hug, love and good wishes.
Well… when I really like something I repeat it, and over, and over, and over again…
Like you, describing the jumping jack flash experience.
And if you wanna know, my younger sister told me that I´m boring at the last months listening that gorgeous brilliant black haired canadian musician. LOL! Just kidding.
Believe, some of your described desires has become real every day. I´m the live prove of this.
Your loyal and humble fan.
January 7th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
An italian tradition/superstition tells that when you’re sitting at a table and there’s 13 people it’s a bad thing….anyway (“tangent” to say…13 can be lucky or not…) 2013 as 2012 as 1921 as 1543 it’s the same ‘ol s**t everytime we waste our time thinking at “what I’m gonna do now?”. And you give the right answer:”JUST DO IT”! We’re here to say:”DO IT FOR US TOO!”…but the pledge campaign is a kinda of:”LET’S DO IT TOGHETER!”.
Apart for this consideration, “bad, sad…” moments in life are the same as the “good, happy…”. I don’t believe in God, no more, but I do believe in memories, in feelings, in scars, in mental tattoo: that tattoo of your friend in your head is what you’ll find when you’ll need it. And YOUR LIFE will be surely better. Because HE will live with you your life. It’s my trust. So CMON AND PLAY 1 SONG FOR HIM!!! GO TK!!! THIS IS OUR YEAR, AS 1921, 1634 and 1980!!!
January 7th, 2013 at 12:36 pm
I am sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. Cancer is an evil bitch! I Love reading your blog….Love listening to your music….Love YOU! Keep up the good fight.
January 7th, 2013 at 12:37 pm
You know what? Reading your blog made me feel better. I don’t know, the way you look at the world, at life is so inspiring for me. I really want to make this 2013 my best year so far, but at the same time I’m so scared. I’m so afraid of loving, of letting myself go, of getting hurt. I’ve always been afraid of something and this fear has alway paralized me. But I wanna live my life for real. I wanna live before I die. And your blog inspired me to do more. To live more. Thank you so much, you mean so much to me. xx
January 7th, 2013 at 1:56 pm
Thank you for your next wonderful blog to read. It is amazing as times before. The same as “Jumping Jack Flash” or books we can read again and again. I wish you and your family a happy new year 2013.
For me 2013 starts in February with a great pleasure: concert of Slash, Myles Kennedy and the Conspirators in Bremen. I’m very exiting.
Cheers Alissata
January 7th, 2013 at 2:04 pm
Todd I lost my sister to cancer a few weeks ago and i know how you must have felt when you lost Greg. It’s a harsh reality that i had hoped I wouldn’t have to deal with. I don’t want to be cheesy but that last blog has helped put into perspective a few things for me. They say an artist is someone who can touch someone else s life without ever meeting them. Today you achieved that. I hope the album goes well and looking forward to seeing you guys in Dublin in March.. First Guinness is on me..
January 7th, 2013 at 2:09 pm
I cannot believe that was the last in the Dark Knight series!! Gah!! What an awesome movie!
Would love to see Batman, Robin and Catwoman take on the Riddler in Nolan style. Ah well…
January 7th, 2013 at 3:34 pm
Hey TK!
Sorry for your loss, it’s so inspiring to see your positive and motivational take on how you are dealing with it.
Congrats on the addition to the Kerns brood.
Your movie taste is impeccable, and I am super excited for “Man of Steel” Snyder/Nolan better get it right
Keep the blogs coming, we love em!
January 7th, 2013 at 4:17 pm
Sorry, I tried to stay out but forgot a couple of things.
I’m quite excited for Man Of Steel as well, but for a completely different reason…
Anyway, I now that since we have that tendency of following our beloved musicians EVERYWHERE in South America (though I’ve never done it, never stayed after the shows, never a hotel… next time maybe…) you are forced to stay inside, locked in the hotels. But we are harmless! you’ve seen that! next time I’m sure we can sneack you out to the local coffe/comic/record stores in Buenos Aires
(Ken, in case you read this, I hope you can feel a bit better each day, have fun in March with the guys and enjoy every minute of one of the greatest live rock shows!)
January 7th, 2013 at 5:14 pm
have a good year, always is nice to read you, you make my day with your words Love and respect
January 7th, 2013 at 5:16 pm
Todd! You had a Fantastic 2012! Thanks for making it to Alberta with Slash! Best concert ever! Keep doing what you do best and that is delivering high octane performances! All the best in 2013!
January 7th, 2013 at 6:56 pm
Always admire and respect how you share your feelings, thoughts, celebrations and sadness. It is very inspirational and gives one lots to think about. Great blog as always and FYI – I am almost finished Rod Stewart’s bio – he’s beyond hilarious! You’ll enjoy it!
January 9th, 2013 at 1:18 pm
I would not agree with all what you say. But the most things of it should always be in our consciousness. It`s the right decision to step out of the dark and using your loss for inspiration instead. Because it`s not the question which challenge is coming up next but to find out which way is the best to handle that. For me it is always astonishing to see how all is connected with each other and which possibilities arise from challenges. That means (to use your analogy) every river has banks and these are worth being discovered too…
January 10th, 2013 at 12:27 pm
Happy new year Todd ! I hope you ‘re fine, your songs for Hello Cruel World are really good !
This friend said moreover that it is necessary to take advantage of the life, I hope to see you again in France XO !
As you I lost a close friend also in 2012 it’s really sad and I understand totally your message. I was really happy to see you with Slash , Myles and the conspirators, because music is freedom and when you are in a concert you’re feeling good for a moment, thanks for your positive energy
January 11th, 2013 at 3:05 pm
So, playing bass is not the only reason someone might want to listen to you…
As for Greg – we live this technology-biased, fast-paced lives. And then, sometimes, it gets so difficult to delete this one contact off the phone’s contacts list. Off the list of Facebook friends.
It’s over a year now that I haven’t done it. But something tells me that – as the time passes – this is one of the things I’ll have to get used to.
January 22nd, 2013 at 7:48 pm
This was amazing and so well written. I’ve shared it with everyone! I love your blog.
January 22nd, 2013 at 7:51 pm
And yes. Greg was definitely a one of a kind man. He was our big brother… And I hate admitting that he was right about everything. He was a blessing in so many people’s lives,hands down. it’s awesome you’re doing that for the bloody villains!!! I’m stoked for that
February 5th, 2013 at 6:00 am
We miss U :,(
February 7th, 2013 at 12:32 am
hey Todd! Love the way you play both guitar and bass! I hope you’ll come back to Italy in this 2013. Can’t wait to see you all guys!!! Best wishes! Ari