Todd Kerns

October 2nd 2011
Los Angeles, California

So yes, it has been over a month since I last wrote a blog. Truth be told I’ve never been busier. I don’t know how I found time to write any in the past but life just gets faster and faster and busier and busier.
As it turns out my last blog would have been the end of the first book (if this was a book) with the end of the We’re All Gonna Die tour in support of Slash’s solo album. This blog would be a prelude to a book yet unwritten. The forthcoming album and tour will probably take us into 2013 if all goes according to plan.
Let’s get caught up with where we left off…

Since I last joined you I’ve been back in Vegas with the Sin City Sinners. The Sinners are working on a Christmas album featuring many of the guests who have honored us with their presence during the rowdiest of jam sessions.
I sing on a blazing version of We Three Kings featuring our pal, guitar legend, George Lynch. Our version has sonically more in common with Satan than baby Jesus but a fitting tribute none the less. Happy Birthday, Jesus-here’s some METAL!

While in Vegas I got to do a few acoustic shows which I really enjoy. They are truly liberating. There is nothing like climbing out from behind a din of Marshall amplifiers and thunderous drums and standing there with nothing but your voice and an acoustic guitar to hide behind. Not for the faint of heart. After jumping around onstage my whole life at full volume it was mildly unsettling when asked to go it alone oh those many years ago.
I acted in a film under this same precedence of facing fear. It didn’t sound easy. It was waaay out of my comfort zone and that’s why I did it. You have to face these things. You come out the other side of an experience knowing you can do almost anything if you put your mind to it. Within reason, of course.
At this point in my life doing an acoustic show is nothing but a total pleasure. At least for me they are. I can’t speak for the person listening. I still have every intention of releasing an acoustic cd at some point. I’m such a fan of Johnny Cash’s American Recordings. I’ve always wanted to do that. Maybe someday. As some people know I’ve been playing a lot of unreleased stuff at the acoustic shows. I suppose they should be documented one way or another, huh?

I went in for cataract surgery while I was home as well. After my detached surgery last year I developed a cataract. A common after effect. I see much better now, thank you very much. Enough with the eye already! I kept praying for the bionic one, Six Million Dollar Man style but no such luck.

So now here I am. Back on Planet Slash. Back when I was originally asked to support him on his first solo tour I wasn’t sure if it would be a month or maybe fly outs on weekends or what. Now here we are a year and a half later and we’re getting ready to record a new cd as a band. Did not see that coming.
We have been working on riffs for a while since we were on the road even. Those riffs have ballooned to almost 20 songs and growing. We have been hard at it in several writing sessions and are now in the midst of 2 weeks rehearsal. We’ll be entering Barefoot Studios with Eric Valentine in a few days to start work on the first few songs. We’ll finish up the record before the end of the year.
Eric has produced a lot of amazing stuff including Slash’s last record. We’ll be in the very studio where one of my favorite albums ever was recorded-Songs For The Deaf by Queens Of The Stone Age (produced by Eric Valentine).
It promises to be very exciting. I’m stoked!

We went to a wildlife fund raiser last weekend that was awesome. We watched them release a rehabilitated hawk back into the wild. There was an auction for things waaay out of my price range. It was hosted in Dick Clark’s back yard. Yea-weird.
Afterwards we got together for a fun hang with Jonny Griparic from the second Snakepit lineup and Charlie Sheen’s most recent ex Brooke Mueller.

Last Friday we went to see Cheap Trick at the Greek Theater which was fanfreakingtastic. They did Dream Police in it’s entirety with full orchestra and back up singers. Most impressive.
The guys had been rehearsing next door to us and it was a major thrill having them come by and say HEY! Tom Petersson (one of my all time fave bassists) loaned me his 64 Thunderbird for a day. He let me play his custom made 12 string and commented on my own Tom Petersson signature 12 string. Super surreal. Great guys. I got hit, yet again, with a Rick Neilsen pick id show. I don’t know how many of those I have in my collection now. In fact that may have caused the original retinal detachment.

Since then we’ve had Billy Idol rehearsing next door as well as System Of A Down. Steven Adler came by for a visit. Always a pleasure!

My current obsession is the New 52 from DC Comics. DC (Batman/Superman etc) has decided to reboot 52 titles. Sort of a retelling to get everyone caught up, I guess. I have a pile in my room that rivals the bedroom of my youth.
Thankfully they haven’t done much tinkering with the Batman timeline which I find the most fascinating of all. It’s hard to find a person as obsessed with it as myself but when I do-look out! I can bore anyone to death with the details of recent Batman history.
Prepare to be bored!
Here goes-
Not that long ago Bruce Wayne was believed dead.
Dick Grayson, the original Robin (who grew up to be Nightwing) became the new Batman.
Jason Todd, the 2nd Robin (who was killed by the Joker back in the 90s) has risen from the dead at the hand of Ras Al Ghul (Liam Neeson played him in Batman Begins…come on. Try and keep up!) Jason is kooky since being reanimated and became The Red Hood (which was originally the Joker’s handle before he became the Joker. I know it gets harder and harder to keep up. Stay with me!) Jason is kind of one of those good bad guys. He kills bad guys which is totally against Batman’s code.
The third Robin, Tim Drake went solo on a quest to find Bruce Wayne who he still believed was still alive. Tim became Red Robin.
Now the NEW Robin is none other than Bruce Wayne’s recently discovered son-Damian Wayne! Damian’s Mother is Talia Al Ghul, daughter of Ras. Like a cartoon soap opera, right?
So all of a sudden Bruce Wayne is no longer dead but he decides that Dick is gonna be Gotham City Batman and Bruce is gonna be International Batman and Bruce franchises Batman all over the world with Batdudes in every country.
Whew!
Since rebooting Bruce is back in Gotham as Batman and Dick is back to being Nightwing. Now it’s really Father and Son as Batman and Robin. Interesting.
They’ve also rebooted Batgirl as Barbara Gordon. She was paralyzed by the Joker back in the 90s. Oh that Joker! There have been several Batgirls since her but she’s back and let’s be honest, she was always the hottest one.

So…anyway…
I really let my nerd flag fly in these blogs, don’t I?

I’ll get back to nerding out in a minute. Coming soon is the Slash Made In Stoke dvd which we’re all excited about. It promises to be awesome. I sing Dr Alibi on it and I’m excited to hear Lemmy’s reaction to me singing it. He’ll probably kick me in the balls. It would be an honor, sir. Look for that in November. Grab it!

A few days ago it was announced that Guns N Roses could be in the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame next year. How very exciting indeed. Slash is his classic unaffected self about it. Nobody’s cooler than Slash and the Fonz. My thoughts were ‘Who qualifies?’ Obviously the original 5 but what about Matt? Van Halen had the original 4 plus Sammy. The Ramones had the original 4 plus Marky. If you include Matt shouldn’t you include Dizzy? He’s a part of the Use Your Illusions lineup, too. Plus he’s still there. I don’t know if Gilby qualifies or not. It’s all so interesting. I can just imagine all those mean spirited Blabbermouth commenters just falling all over themselves. I’ll leave them to it. I know my boy, Slash is included. That’s all that matters. GNR is one of the best all time bands ever and deserve to be in the Hall Of Fame.
Who cares about the Hall Of Fame anyway? No KISS? Come on. Love ‘em or hate ‘em it’s a no brainer. I hope KISS never gets in. Who wants to be in that club anyway? It’s like John Bender says, ‘I don’t know any lepers but I’m not gonna run out and join any of their fucking clubs.’

Today it was announced that Arrested Development is coming back for a new season and then a movie. Have I died and returned to some awesome parallel universe? Johnny, Joey and Dee Dee are still dead so it’s not THAT awesome but this is the best news I’ve heard in forever.
AD was the best show ever. It’s cancellation was testament that the Devil had certainly ceased reign over this dominion. Clearly he has been beaten, for the time being. If you are unfamiliar with AD go to Netflix NOW and watch all 3 seasons. It launched Michael Cera and revived Jason Bateman. My friends and family with impeccable taste are beside ourselves with glee. Not the show Glee because I don’t wanna know what that is.

Well, I’m off to a world of comic books and Star Trek. It is I who lives in a world of arrested development. I have comics to read and I’ve been watching Star Trek:Enterprise on Netflix. I am secretly, dangerously obsessed with T’Pol, the Vulcan science officer on the show. Luckily she is not a real person so she is in no real danger. I’m not interested in Jolene Blalock, the actress who plays her. She seems like a nice person but it is T’Pol who currently has my heart.

Yes, my life is almost this sad.

Tomorrow morning we go back to the rock mines to dig up some rare gems for your ears to thrill to next spring!
When next I join you we will probably have recorded the first few songs…
Until then-
Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars (as Casey Kasem would say)

Your loyal and humble servant,
Todd Dammit

Listening to-the Queen reissues. Brilliant
Reading-The War For Late Night, sequel to the Late Shift. The Late Shift was about Letterman leaving NBC. The sequel is all about Conan getting screwed by Leno. Conan really got a raw deal. I’m a big Coco supporter. It’s a real crime the way things went down. I highly recommend these books.
I picked up Conan’s 7 inch at Amoeba Records the other day. Produced by Jack White. Sweeet….